Later in February , I noticed a change in the green belt around my house. The trees were all almost all nude, the leaves had fallen down which actually aggravated my fear further. Then that evening came, when I left home for the surgery , the peepul tree right in front of our gate in the park stood straight with no leaves at all. A bad omen! My heart trembled. I looked at the house one last time and felt that I would never return alive.
Four days later when I returned with a broken heart and soul, lost nerves and senses, I noticed some new bright green leaflets at the top branches of the peepul tree. Fate had perhaps decided to give me another chance to live.
I got that wrong!!! There were some unknown plans ahead which I realised during the later months of the year. The fight to survive continued each morning till late evening when I wished to surrender. Loneliness had crept in silently killing me further. Hopelessness and helplessness had intertwined with self. How I wanted to keep the things in my life straight. One more month, bear it slightly more, my heart said. Perhaps the new year had something in store for me. Ok I agreed to what my heart said but la cabeza told me that things had not changed and this wait would not be fruitful. But like as ever I chose mi heart over mi head.
The result as of now is so surprising to me... I, in fact, decided to let the things go... Those things which were virtually so dear to me. La vida does not suck any more. I am off loaded to the extent that I do not feel any thing else around me. Today I noticed some thing striking as I stood in my balcony. The peepul tree's leaves are all gone but what is different this time is the surroundings that are as green as ever. Now what does this indicate? It's almost the same time as during the last year...
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